How to Support Your Loved One Through Menopause Without Making It Awkward

Menopause: It’s that time in a woman’s life when her body goes through seismic shifts, and yet, so many of us are still trying to figure out how to talk about it. From hot flashes to mood swings, sleep disruptions, and hormonal chaos, it’s a period that can feel isolating, confusing, and frankly, a bit overwhelming. Since it will affect every women in the world it is important to understand if there’s anything you can do to support your loved one through menopause.

What if your mom, sister, friend, or colleague is going through it right now and you can see them struggling—without them even saying a word? How do you step in without overstepping? How do you support your loved one through menopause without making it all about the menopause? Well, you’re not alone in feeling a little lost in this territory. Let’s break it down with compassion, humor, and scientifically backed tips that’ll make you the ally everyone in menopause wishes they had.

Start with Understanding—Menopause is Not Just a “Phase”

Menopause isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” situation, and while it’s often portrayed in sitcoms or pop culture as a temporary annoyance, the reality is that the effects can last decades and change a woman for good. Perimenopause, which can start in your late 30s or 40s, can last for several years before full-blown menopause begins.

Menopause marks the end of a woman’s menstrual cycles, which typically occurs anywhere from 40 to 58. It’s officially diagnosed after 12 consecutive months without a period. In the biological sense, menopause happens when the ovaries stop producing eggs, and levels of estrogen and progesterone drop significantly, resulting in the end of menstruation. But it’s not just about stopping periods—oh no. Menopause can trigger a host of physical, mental, and emotional changes due to those fluctuating hormone levels.

During this time, many women experience hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, anxiety, loneliness, dizziness, brain fog, memory lapses and even identity changes. It’s not just the physical symptoms that make this time challenging—there’s also the cultural stigma, if not societal taboo with lack of open conversation. Menopause, for many, still carries a sense of quiet embarrassment, as though it’s something to hide or be ashamed of. And the post-menopausal years can last decades.

So when your loved one is struggling, it’s important to remember that this isn’t just a little phase—it’s a major life transition that can affect everything from sleep to relationships to mental health.

This isn’t just a little phase—it’s a major life transition that can affect everything from sleep to relationships to mental health.

Don’t Wait for Her to Ask for Help—Take Initiative

If your mom, sister, friend, or colleague isn’t openly talking about menopause, it doesn’t mean they don’t need your support. Often, women in menopause may feel embarrassed, frustrated, or even ashamed of what they’re going through. The last thing they want is to be seen as “overly emotional” or “irrational” because of fluctuating hormones. So, don’t wait for a formal invitation to step in—just check in. A simple “Hey, I noticed you’ve seemed a little down lately, how’s everything going?” can open the door without forcing them to explain everything.

You can also start with something more indirect: “I read about how common hot flashes are, and I can’t imagine what that must feel like!” Sometimes acknowledging the physical symptoms, even without a direct inquiry, shows that you are informed and care.

Offer Practical Help Without Being Overbearing

Sometimes, menopause symptoms can make everyday tasks feel like monumental challenges—whether it’s battling through a hot flash in the middle of a meeting, trying to fall asleep while your body is having its own personal heatwave, or simply trying to focus when brain fog strikes. If you see your loved one struggling, offer to help with specific tasks that might feel particularly overwhelming.

For example:

Bring over healthy snacks: Hormonal fluctuations can cause cravings for comfort food. Bringing over healthy snacks like fruit, nuts, or smoothies can be a subtle way to encourage wellness without making it a big deal.

Help with work or chores: Offer to pitch in if she’s overloaded with responsibilities. Maybe volunteer to take over some planning at work or make an easy meal together.

Offer a break: Suggest a spa day or an evening out, away from the house, to de-stress. A change of scenery can be a great way to reset the mood.

Keep her hydrated: One of the simplest and most effective ways you can help is by reminding her to stay hydrated. Menopause can lead to dehydration, especially with hot flashes and night sweats, which can make her feel more sluggish or irritable. Offer her water, herbal teas, or even a refreshing fruit-infused water to make it more exciting. A small gesture like this can help her feel better and more energized. To monitor her water intake you can use our Water Intake Calculator

Encourage physical activity: Exercise can be a game-changer during menopause. Regular physical activity, like pilates, yoga or other, helps with everything from weight management to mental clarity, and it can ease many of the common symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, and sleep disturbances. Whether it’s going for a walk together, suggesting a gentle yoga class, or just offering to join her for a light workout, encouraging movement can provide numerous benefits. Physical activity helps regulate hormones, improve mood, and boost energy levels—so a walk in the fresh air or a fun dance class could become a shared way to not just help her, but bond as well!

Be There Emotionally—But Know When to Let It Be

Emotional support is a tricky thing to offer in menopause. The hormonal shifts can lead to increased irritability, depression, and anxiety. But often, the woman going through menopause might feel like she’s “crazy” or “overreacting,” even though these emotional ups and downs are totally normal. She might snap at you unexpectedly or retreat into herself, and that can make it difficult for you to know what to do next.

Menopausal Rage: Understanding and Managing the Storm

One of the more intense aspects of menopause that many women struggle to express is menopausal rage—that sudden, unpredictable burst of irritability or even anger. You might witness your loved one getting disproportionately frustrated with something minor, or snapping at you for no apparent reason. It’s important to remember that this isn’t personal—it’s hormonal.

When estrogen levels dip, emotional regulation becomes more difficult, and anger can emerge out of nowhere. It’s as if your loved one’s calm, collected demeanor is suddenly on pause, and something as small as an annoying ringtone or misplaced keys can set off a volcanic eruption. So, what do you do?

Offer comfort: If she’s open to it, offer a gentle word of reassurance: “I know you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, and I’m here if you need me.” Sometimes acknowledging the feeling without trying to fix it is the best way to soothe.

Don’t take it personally: When the rage hits, try to avoid reacting defensively. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that this isn’t about you, and let her vent if needed. Sometimes, just having the space to express frustration is all she needs to regain composure.

Be patient: Menopausal rage can feel all-consuming in the moment, but it’s usually short-lived. If you can, wait it out calmly, knowing that the storm will pass.

Mental Health and Behavioural Changes: When to Pay Attention

For many women, menopause isn’t just about physical symptoms; it can also affect mental health. Cognitive changes, such as memory lapses, brain fog, and difficulty concentrating, are common during menopause. This is due to the drop in estrogen, which is thought to impact areas of the brain responsible for memory and cognition.

Increased Risk of Alzheimer’s and Other Mental Health Issues

Research has shown that menopause is connected to an increased risk of mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and dementia-related diseases such as Alzheimer’s.

Dr. Lisa Mosconi, a neuroscientist and expert in brain health, has conducted extensive research on the link between menopause and cognitive decline. In her book The XX Brain, Mosconi highlights that estrogen is neuroprotective and plays a crucial role in maintaining brain health. When estrogen levels drop significantly during menopause, the brain becomes more vulnerable to neurodegeneration, which can increase the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.

A study conducted by Mosconi and her colleagues found that women in menopause experience significant changes in brain structure and function, particularly in areas related to memory and decision-making. This research suggests that women who experience early menopause (before age 45) may face a heightened risk for Alzheimer’s and related dementias in later life. According to Mosconi’s findings, menopausal women are at an increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease, with the risk being particularly pronounced for those with a family history of the disease.

Stats You Need to Know:

Women are more likely to experience memory problems after menopause: According to Dr. Mosconi, women are twice as likely as men to develop Alzheimer’s after menopause, and estrogen’s decline plays a role in this.

Early menopause increases the risk of Alzheimer’s: If a woman goes through menopause earlier than usual (before age 45), she’s at a higher risk for Alzheimer’s later in life.

Memory issues are common but should be watched: Around 60% of women going through menopause report problems like forgetfulness or difficulty focusing. These changes are often temporary, but if they get worse or don’t go away, it’s a good idea to talk to a doctor.

When to Pay Attention on Your Loved One’s Menopausal Changes:

• Memory lapses: If your loved one seems to forget things more often than usual, has trouble concentrating, or misplaces things a lot, it could be related to menopause. While some forgetfulness is normal, if it’s becoming a big problem, it’s worth checking in with a doctor.
• Mood changes: If she seems especially down or anxious, or if her energy levels drop significantly for a long time, it could be more than just hormonal mood swings. If it lasts, it might be time to seek some help.
• Sleep issues: Poor sleep can make everything worse. If your loved one can’t sleep well and is feeling more stressed or anxious, it might affect her mental health.

3 Easy Ways to Support Your Loved One Through Menopause:

Remind her she’s not alone: Many women in menopause experience a sense of isolation, as cognitive changes can be invisible to others. Simply telling her, “You’re not alone in this—many women feel this way,” can go a long way toward validating her experience.

Encourage professional support: Gently suggest that she talk to a doctor about memory issues or prolonged mood shifts. Menopausal symptoms can often be mitigated with therapy, medication, or lifestyle changes.

Create a stress-free environment: If stress or lack of sleep is contributing to mental health issues, help her create a calming environment. Offer to help with relaxation techniques like meditation, yoga, or even simple deep-breathing exercises.

Best way to support your loved one through menopause is just being there for her. It might feel daunting, but being there for someone in menopause is about empathy, patience, and small acts of kindness. It’s about recognizing that while the experience may be deeply personal, it doesn’t have to be lonely. From offering comfort to making her feel seen, you can make a world of difference in helping your loved one feel supported through this life stage. So, check in, share a laugh, encourage a little movement, offer a glass of water, and most importantly, let her know you’re there—no matter what her hormones have to say about it.